[Promotum] If LOTR was written by...

[Edmund A. Hintz]

I normally refrain from posting anything here that's been through /., but
this one is way funny, and there's enough folks here that don't read /.
that it's a reasonable forward. If you're a /. reader, there's nothing to
see here, move along...

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/s
howthread.php?s=ce24f67f4391402642140
618dcde1e00&threadid=138905&perpage=50&pagenumber=1

Reader submissions include Ernest Hemingway, Douglas Adams, Mark Twain,
HP Lovecraft, ee cumings, Milton, Mickey Spillane, Danielle Steele, Ayn
Rand, Ray Bradbury, Gilbert and Sullivan(nice song/dance routine), John
Cage(mostly blank space of course), Old Testament ("Frodo 2:6 And Gimli
sayeth, shall we not leave the ring with the Elves? And Elrond grew wroth
and rent his garment."), Tom Clancy... The list goes on. I'm only on page
2 of 17 (!!), and it's totally brilliant.

Here's the text of the Dr. Suess one:

'Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring! 
I am too small to carry this thing!' 
'I can not, will not hold the One. 
You have a slim chance, but I have none. 
I will not take it on a boat, 
I will not take it across a moat. 
I cannot take it under Moria, 
that's one thing I can't do for ya. 
I would not bring it into Mordor, 
I would not make it to the border.'


Peace,

Edmund A. Hintz              **|**     "You may say I'm a dreamer,
Mac Techie, Unix Geek,      *  |  *      But I'm not the only one...
Mac/Unix Consultant        *  /|\  *     I hope someday you'll join us,
<ed@hintz.org>              */ | \*      And the world will live as one.
'78 Westy                    *****      Imagine."
                     http://www.hintz.org