[Promotum] Career Opportunity

[Ed Hintz]

Well, the timing's a bit off, this being Father's day weekend, but it's a
cute job description nonetheless...


Position: Mom

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging 
permanent work in an often-chaotic environment. Candidates must 
possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be 
willing to work various hours, which will include evenings and 
weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts  "on call." Some overnight 
travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy 
weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel 
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: This is for the rest of your life. Must be willing 
to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs $5 to go 
skating. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must 
possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from 
zero to 100 Kph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams 
from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing 
to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget 
repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen 
phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple 
homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social 
gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.  Must be 
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. 
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million 
cheap, plastic toys and battery-operated devices.  Must always hope 
for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, 
complete accountability for the quality of the end product. 
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work 
throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none.  Your job 
is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, 
constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your 
charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job 
training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent raises and 
bonuses.  A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the 
assumption that University will help them become financially 
independent.  When you die, you give them whatever is left. The 
oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually 
enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition 
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, job 
supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs 
for life if you play your cards right.



Pass this on to all the moms you know, in appreciation for everything 
they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.



=====
(`'·.¸(`'·.¸(`'·.¸ ¸.·'´)¸.·'´)¸.·'´)
«´¨`·.¸¸.* CA SquirrelBAIT *.¸¸.·´¨`»
      (¸.·'´(¸.·'´ `'·.¸)`'·.¸)

Chasin' Gracie, my lil' chrome doggie...

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----------------- End Forwarded Message -----------------


Peace,

Edmund A. Hintz              **|**     "You may say I'm a dreamer,
Mac Techie, Unix Geek,      *  |  *      But I'm not the only one...
Mac/Unix Consultant        *  /|\  *     I hope someday you'll join us,
<ed@hintz.org>              */ | \*      And the world will live as one.
'78 Westy                    *****      Imagine."
                     http://www.hintz.org