[Promotum] Dog and Cat Haiku

[Edmund A. Hintz]

Thanks to Suellen for these.

-=-

Here is some doggie haiku.

  I lie belly-up
  In the sunshine, happier than
  You ever will be.

  The cat is not all
  Bad. She fills the litter box
  With Tootsie Rolls

  How do I love thee?
  The ways are numberless as
  My hairs on the rug.

  Dig under fence - why?
  Because it's there. Because it's
  There. Because it's there

  I am your best friend,
  Now, always, and especially
  When you are eating.

  I sound the alarm!
  Mailman fiend - come to kill us
  all -
  Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

  I sound the alarm!
  Paper boy come to kill all!
  Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

  I sound the alarm!
  Neighbor's cat - come to kill all!
  Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

  I hate my choke chain -
  Look, world, they strangle me!
  Ack
  Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

  My human is home!
  I am so ecstatic I have
  Made a puddle.

  I love my master;
  Thus I perfume myself with
  this long-rotten squirrel.

  Look in my eyes and
  Deny it. No human could
  Love you as much as I do.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Poetry: Cat Haiku

  You never feed me.
  Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
  That will sure show you.

  You must scratch me there!
  Yes, above my tail!
  Behold, elevator butt.

  The rule for today
  Touch my tail, I shred your
  hand.
  New rule tomorrow.

  In deep sleep hear sound
  cat vomit hairball somewhere
  will find in morning.

  Grace personified.
  I leap into the window.
  I meant to do that.

  Blur of motion, then-
  silence, me, a paper bag.
  What is so funny?

  You're always typing.
  Well, let's see you ignore my
  sitting on your hands.

  My small cardboard box.
  You cannot see me if I
  can just hide my head.

  Terrible battle.
  I fought for hours. Come and
  see!
  What's a term paper?

  Small brave carnivores
  Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
  Fear vacuum cleaner

  I want to be close
  to you. Can I fit my head
  inside your armpit?

  Wanna go outside.
  Oh, crap! Help! I got outside!
  Let me back inside!

  Oh no! Big One
  has been trapped by newspaper!

  Cat to the rescue!

  Humans are so strange.
  Mine lies still in bed, then
  screams
  Claws are not that sharp.

  Cats meow out of angst
  "Thumbs! If only we had
  thumbs!
  We could break so much!"

  The Big Ones snore now
  Every room is dark and cold
  Time for "Cup Hockey"

  We're almost equals
  I purr to show I love you
  Want to smell my butt?



Peace,

Edmund A. Hintz              **|**     "You may say I'm a dreamer,
Mac Techie, Unix Geek,      *  |  *      But I'm not the only one...
Mac/Unix Consultant        *  /|\  *     I hope someday you'll join us,
<ed@hintz.org>              */ | \*      And the world will live as one.
'78 Westy                    *****      Imagine."
                     http://www.hintz.org